EGGHEAD BO BURNHAM PDF

Egghead is nothing short of spectacular. And as you might know by now, I love poetry books with illustrations Here are a few okay I would give you the moon if I could.

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And he looks like the genetic product of a giraffe having sex with Ellen Degeneres. He has a gigantic head and tiny nipples. And, in doing so, has lost touch with reality. You hear me? You think you know better than me. You think you know better than everybody. You will die alone. And you will deserve it.

But in the meantime, you might as well tell those silly jokes of yours. See if that helps. Welcome to the show this is Bo, this is his show. And Bo likes to dance like this. Welcome to the show, this is Bo this is his show.

And Bo takes off his pants like this. Play an invisible drum. Trumpet sound! That water is real! Bo wants to make you feel comfortable. Random voice Bo wants to make you feel comfortable. So sit back, relax, and enjoy a healthy dose of prolonged eye contact.

Lick your lips to make it more comforting. Do you wanna see a magic trick? Then pick a card any card. Read a book. Or is it? He never knew there could be so much magic in the world. What do you wanna do first? Yeah, sure you can run. Well yeah, you can fly. What are you… What the fuck you… What the fuck are you doing? Stop- St- Stop it! What the f- You fucking idiot, stop. In the distance, Bo saw a beautiful fairy.

A fairy so beautiful that he felt proud about being called one in high school. He then came across an old bridge with a troll standing guard. Do you have any spare change? No, stop. Just leave. Please leave. For now… But the dark thoughts would soon return. Tiny arms, itchy gizzard. Is he skiing? Or is he in a gay porn? Okay Bo, this miming shit is getting pretty annoying. Na-a-a-aturally good. This is the end of the song and the beginning of the show. Welcome to the show!

Anyway, San Francisco! We are a place. Uh, this is a joke for the fellas. Where are my fellas at? Third time this week. Thank you so much. And I hope there are some surprises for you, or someth- Jesus, sorry. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But you all thought it was an accident. But, he meant to knock the water over. Art is a lie. Nothing is real! So, um, we uh- Grow up! Grow up with your applause. Stick it… He meant to knock the water over. Just… we can cut all this, so… We meant to play the track again. Yeah, yeah, yeah!

But, he meant to play the water track a-ga-ga-gain! Food jokes. Segues are weird. Um… [Laughs] I had a hot dog for breakfast today, and afterwards I felt like this. Never waste a moment, every moment can become a comedic moment.

So… Just a little lesson for comedians. And… Thank you. I saw a flyer for a lost dog, and the dog did not have any legs. I saw a diabetic kid, trick-or-treating. I saw a giraffe who had a short neck. That was sad, or a dear? I saw an old man get hit by a train.

I saw a little boy drop his ice cream cone directly on his mothers corpse! I saw a kitten stuck in a tree. Then the kitten jumped off and it hung it self I saw a boy who had red hair. I went to a store looking for something to buy. But they only sold paintings of the same sad guy. No wait! This store sells mirrors, see what I did there? The worlds is so sad bros. Genocide, war. Sexism, Racism. Like the fact that none of that is happening to me.

I mean not for the people that are actually sad, but for people like us, that gotta fucking deal with them all the time. I saw an old man slip and fall. Hey, what a fucking idiot. I saw a woman at her daughters funeral. Classic comedy. Everything that once was sad is somehow funny now. Cos tragedy will be exclusively joked about. Because my empathy is bumming me out.

God-bye sadness! Hello jokes. Thank you. Everyone loves at a late show or whatever.

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